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The bug up the westside's ass goes national


NYT, Santa Monica fru-fru.

You never know what you should pitch---surprising quarter just might use it.

For, oh, about the past thirty years, when I get out to the west side and the time is right, I've been watching sunsets from Adelaide in Santa Monica, on the south rim of Santa Monica Canyon.

You would think that a street is a public space, but over the decades I've observed the neighbors to bring every kind of territorial degradation to the scene, attempting to cordon it off as their very own private bluff. Lynn too, in a way; before Los Feliz, when she was on the worst side, she used to do the Fourth Street stairway quite a bit, and of course the locals just owned it, even though she was trekking in from the distant hinterlands of Harvard and Montana. Hey, chick, no stretching! It bugs us.

One guy in Santa Monica Canyon about twenty years ago even put a poster of a guy watching you in a window of the attic of his house, as though to say, "Get off my bluff!" even though his house was three blocks north of the bluff. I think that poster just came down two years ago.

The people on the north rim of Adelaide and on the south rim of Santa Monica Canyon have planted every variety of prickly cactus imaginable to keep people off "their" bluffs. The parking became more and more restrictive. &c.

Comes now a New York Times feature: Where the traffic median is a no-Pilates zone.

Write what you know---what a concept!

For thirty years now, I've known the people of Adelaide have had dementing bugs so high up their asses it wouldn't let their brains think straight. So I guess I should have pitched something to that effect in year twenty-nine of this knowledge. But good job girlfriend to Jennifer Steinhauer for making the locals look like the petty territorial loons they have been for so very long.

Click their slide show too, to remind yourself why you don't live on the westside anymore.